New York, NY — Gratuitous nudity, multiple ‘spit takes,’ the inclusion of a non-singing lead, and a score so high only dogs can hear it, are just a few of the problems with “Rosie! The Musical!” which opened last night at the Pantheon Theater.
Scarlett Johansson plays the title character in ‘Rosie! The Musical!’ by Mitch Coleman (book), Stephen Schwartz (music) and James Maroe (lyrics). Director: Mike Hill
In a small town in West Michigan, a man and his dog explore life, love, and liver treats. And did I mention the Amish?
An encomium to man’s best friend, “Rosie! The Musical!” features a collection of characters never before seen on stage–and for good reason. They include a trangendered deer, a gay Labrador Retriever, an oversized Corgi, and a pet therapist (amiably played by newcomer Bruce Baker) who serves as a sort of Ringmaster over this chaotic collection of skits, half-formed ideas and improv comedy rejects.
Scarlett Johansson plays the title character with sensitivity and wit, but after making an initial splash, she’s swept away by a strong current of community theater cliches and line…pause…line readings that left this audience member hoping that the performance would be brought to a halt by a ringing cell phone.
The role of Rosie’s master is played by Mel Gibson, in an obvious bit of stunt casting that brings back unhappy memories of Brooke Shields in…well, in just about anything.
Mr. Gibson’s role is a largely non-singing one, which is good, since he is an entirely non-singing actor. Late in the first act, he does attempt some ‘talk-singing’ which, though delivered in a wonderfully sonorous bass, does nothing to banish the memory of the late Lorne Greene.
Other characters fared little better. Harvey Fierstein, woefully miscast as Rosie’s endomorphic friend Clover, spends most of his time hiding under an oversized couch. It’s unclear whether this was called for in the script, or whether Mr. Fierstein simply made the choice himself.
Bette Midler plays Bette Midler playing ‘Madam Rosa’–a psychic with a penchant for psychotropics, and by the time Nathan Lane shows up as Buck, the transgendered deer (someone should tell him that’s not where you wear your antlers) one could be forgiven for thinking that someone had slipped LSD into the theater’s drinking fountain.
Watching ‘Rosie! The Musical!’ was rather like watching newsreel footage of the fiery crash of the Hindenburg; you know people are dying up there, but try as you might, you can’t work up any sympathy for them.
“Rosie! The Musical!” runs through Feb. 1 at the Pantheon Theater, 303 W. 42nd Street. (212) 555-5856, ticketcentral.com.
