Mitch: Tell me again why I’m taking your picture?
Rosie: It’s for my passport. Just shoot.
Mitch: Got it. What do you think?
Rosie: Sheesh, it looks like a mug shot.
Mitch: I’ve seen your mug shot. This is better. Why do you need a passport, anyway?
Rosie: Take another one. If you must know, I’ve met someone over the Internet, and he wants me to come and visit him.
Rosie: In Sweden. Take another picture.
Mitch: What’s the name of this Swedish hound?
Rosie: Bjorn Bjorgenbjorn.
Rosie: Bjorn Bjorgenbjorn! He says it’s the most popular dog name in Sweden.
Mitch: I’m sure. Aw, hell. We can’t use this picture.
Rosie: Why not?
Mitch: I shot while you were talking. You’ve got your mouth open. Not that it isn’t an accurate representation of–
Rosie: Stop yourself! Shoot another one.
Mitch: What does this dog do?
Rosie: He’s a watchdog at the Vatican.
Mitch: Say again?
Rosie: I said, he’s a watchdog at the Vatican! He’s the ‘Premier Papal Pooch.’ He protects the Pope.
Mitch: You’re spitting all over me.
Rosie: And, he’s responsible for the ‘Papal Pooper Scooper.’
Mitch: Okay, hold on a second…
Rosie: It’s a very important responsibility, wouldn’t you agree?
Mitch: I know the Pope is old, but I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as a ‘Papal Pooper Scooper.’
Rosie: Yes there is! Bjorn told me all about it!
Mitch: Have you ever talked to this dog over the phone, or is it all–
Rosie: He sent me a picture. See?
Mitch: Wow, that’s…that’s…too good to be true. But have you talked to him?
Rosie: E-mail and text. He can’t give me his phone number–it’s a State secret.
Mitch: Aw, jeez.
Rosie: The Vatican would have his hide if he gave out his number.
Mitch: Sweetheart, I love you, but…
Rosie: But what?
Mitch: I think you’re being played for a fool.
Rosie: No way. I’ve got my eyes wide open. Bjorn and I are–
Mitch: Really? Bjorn Bjorgenbjorn? I’m not sure that’s even Swedish! And I just Googled the most popular dog names in Sweden, and the top three are Molly, Wilma, and Ludde.
Rosie: ‘Ludde?’ are you sh**ting me?
Mitch: I think you’re corresponding with a ‘catfish.’ Do you know what that is?
Rosie: Somebody who poses as somebody else, just to mess with people?
Mitch: That’s right. I’m sorry, sweetie. Hey, now. C’mon…
Rosie: Oh my God…this explains so much…
Mitch: C’mon now…there’s plenty of…dogs in the…sea…or something.
Rosie: I’ve even been studying Swedish!
Mitch: Let me hear it.
Rosie: (through tears) Så vacker du är.
Mitch: That’s a lovely sentiment.
Rosie: You don’t even know what it means!
Mitch: I don’t need a translation. If you said that to me, it would melt my heart.
Rosie: It’s probably some cat!
Mitch: Here, have a Jerky Treat.
Rosie: They’re probably laughing at me right now.
Mitch: No one’s laughing at you. ‘With you’ maybe…
Rosie: Damn Internet.
Mitch: It sucks to be you.
Rosie: (Sigh) Damn cats…