(This is part II of “Who Can Turn the World on…?” Part I appears directly below this post. To recap, Rosie has moved out of Mitch’s house, and is moving into her own apartment–an apartment she will share with another dog. There are cats living upstairs. Just go with it.)
Mitch: (enters apartment and looks around–notices a poster of a Great Dane on the wall–approaches it, reads aloud) “What makes a Great Dane great.” Okay, that picture is really inappropriate.
Rosie: Stop being such a prude! What do you want to do, put pants on him?
Mitch: Yes.
Rosie: It’s natural and normal (looks at poster) although I gotta say…
Mitch: Stop yourself. As a male mammal, I feel exploited.
Rosie: Trust me, you’ll never be a poster bo–
(she is interrupted by a knock at the door–a poodle lets herself in)
Audrey: Hi! You must be Rosie. I’m Audrey–we’re gonna be roommates!
(they sniff each other’s backsides)
Mitch: I can’t get used to this.
Rosie: It’s so nice to meet you! This is Mitch–he’s not staying.
Mitch: It’s nice to meet–
Audrey: I’ve got some things to bring up–my bed, my blanket, some stuffy toys and, oh! I’ve got a gnaw bone that’s to die for!
Rosie: I knew I was going to like you!
Audrey: Did you know there are six cats living upstairs?
Rosie: C’est absurde!
Audrey: Oh, c’est vrai! And one of them is really cute! I don’t know whether I want to marry him, ‘date’ him or kill him!
Rosie: Marry, date, kill! I love that game! Okay, the MGM lion.
Audrey: Marry! Are you kidding?
Rosie: Marry. The tiger from ‘Life of Pi?’
Audrey: ‘Date.’
Rosie: ‘Date.’ How about Cat Stevens?
Audrey: Kill.
Rosie: No-brainer. We’re going to be such good friends!
Mitch: Well, listen, I’d better be getting back.
Rosie: That’s fine, I’ve got all my stuff. (eases Mitch out the door) Be careful driving home! (to Audrey) Girl, where’s that gnaw bone!?
Mitch: (wipes a tear) My little girl is all–
Rosie: (closes the door in Mitch’s face)
Mitch: …grown up.
(to be continued)
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